condomisms: tales from a protected life

Is sending a friend request on Facebook the equivalent of asking for someone’s phone number? It certainly is as personal–even more so, in fact. It not only establishes a medium of communication between 2 people like the phone does, it also heralds the always open (browser) window to the other person’s online persona. This is assuming, of course, that the object of one’s affection has an FB profile and is active in the online social scene; but, in this voyeuristic and narcissistic day and age, who doesn’t and isn’t? Basically, in what would typically be unraveled by going on a date or two, a Pursuer can instead get the virtual low-down in a minute or two of viewing the Pursued’s profile. (Don’t even pretend you don’t do this, dear readers. We all googled the Pursued before Facebook came along, so don’t worry, you’re not a cyberstalking freak.)

I ponder this fact because, a few weeks ago, I was quite pleased with myself having finally asked a Pursued if I could add her on Facebook. (I asked before I did so to appear, er, gentlemanly. I’m an idiot, I know.) To my alcohol-muddied recollection, she replied with an inviting “yes.” However, it’s now been 3 weeks and I still see this beside her FB profile.

The feeling I get when I see this — and yes, I look at it everyday — is reminiscent of the dreaded wait for a callback after leaving a blundering voice mail, or the anticipation of hearing the iPhone make that SMS tone after dispatching a flirty but ill-conceived text message. Maybe I spooked her by friending too soon–as in, 1 day after asking. Is there already proper etiquette on how soon one can friend someone on Facebook? Or, do we just rehash the rule for the post-encounter phone call, i.e., do it 2 days after?

Be it via phone lines, cell towers or fiber optic cables, I know, at least, one thing remains the same: my results are consistent however way I do it. FML.